Stella's Diary
by tv freak 92
Summary: Stella’s starts putting her feelings into a diary. What happens when Mac finds it. Stella's POV
1. Chapter 1

**Stella's Diary **

**Summary:** Stella's starts putting her feelings into a diary. What happens when it goes missing.

**Chapter 1: Stella's POV **

_Dear Diary _

_The bastard. How could he not tell me about her. Maybe if he had told me about her I wouldn't be so angry. I'd just be hurt but as it is I'm hurt, angry and upset. I don't think I can trust him anymore. He doesn't know but when he went out with Rose I only went out with Frankie to make him jealous I guess it didn't work. I love him but I can't tell him. I don't even think he feels the same for me. I shouted at him today I'm scared of what will happen tomorrow._

I closed the diary after I'd finished writing. I so wasn't looking forward to work tomorrow. The morning arrived to quick for my liking. I got up and had a shower. I arrived at work five minutes late. I knew that this would probley go against me but it wasn't my fault. Okay maybe it was but he had a part in it to if he hadn't of started dating what's her face I wouldn't be in this mess. I saw Danny walking towards me.

'Stella Mac wants to see you in his office now' he said

'Thanks Danny' I replied

I carried on to his office. When I got there I knocked on the door.

'Come' I heard him say.

I walked in and closed the door behind me 'You wanted to see me Mac' I said

'Yeah. You're late Stella'

'I know Mac'

'Stella I hate to do this but I'm going have to suspended you for what happened yesterday and you're lateness'

'Sure' I was excepting that so I wasn't to surprised

'I'll see you in a months time'

I wasn't expecting that. I walked out of his office and to my car outside. I drove home breaking almost every driving law. I opened my door and walked to my room and got out my diary I began to finish what I started last night.

_That bastard. I knew I was going to be suspended but for a whole month! Fuck him. He can go and fuck his girlfriend. I can't remember her name but oh well. Shit I wonder how the team you'll react when they find out. I thought I loved him. I guess what happened today was proof that he was a fucking cold-hearted bastard the others said he was when we found out about **her** but I didn't want to believe them. Danny told me that he along with everyone else thought we'd get together. So did I. Knowing him he'll probley propose and tell the others not to tell me that he'll tell me but I've got very loyal friends who would tell me if the bastard did. If he did then he can forget about me coming to the wedding. Apparently he's been seeing her for the past three months and he didn't mention one fucking word._

The phone rang. I got up to answer it. It was Danny.

'Hey Stella' he said

'Hey Danny what's up' I replied

_'Mac just told us that's she's pregnant'_

_The bastard_ 'Thanks for tell me Danny'

_'It's okay Stella. I'll see you next month'_

'Yeah see you Danny' I hung up and walked back into my room

_Hegot her fuckingpregnant. Damn him.I hate her but most of all I hate him!. I'm glad Danny phoned and told me the news. I guess he'll stick with her from now on._

**A/N: **Please tell me if I should carry on. Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Stella's Diary**

**Chapter 2 A month later**

'Hey welcome back Stel' Danny said to me

'Thanks Danny' I replied 'anything happen while I was gone?'

'Yeah me and Montana we're you know…'

'…Dating?' I finished of for him

'Yeah'

'How bout Mac?' I asked

'Well yesterday he umm came in all happy and that. He's umm…He's getting married Stel'

I was shocked I thought he'd wait a bit longer to propose to her. I guess not.

'When you see him Danny tell him congratulations from me will you please' I asked

'Sure. Oh and Stella?'

'Yeah'

'He wants to see you as soon as you came in so I think you'd better tell him'

'Thanks Danny'

I walked up to Mac's office and knocked on the door

'Yeah' I heard him say

'Mac' I started when I walked through the door 'Danny said you wanted to see me'

'Yeah. Take a seat Stel'

I sat down opposite him. 'What do you want Mac?' I asked

'You going to have another fight with me?'

'Probley not Mac. It depends.'

'On what Stel'

'On you, us, her' I said quietly but loud enough that Mac could hear 'I don't want to lose you're friendship Mac but I honestly don't think we can be friends if she keeps being the reason for all our arguments'

'Stel…'

'I hear congratulations are in order'

'Who told you that?' I could tell from his voice that he wanted to be the one to tell me

'Danny. I'll see you around Mac' I said. I got up and walked out of his office. I was hurt and angry that he didn't tell me yesterday about this but I guess he didn't want to be shouted at. Again. Instead of going back to work I walked out into the car park. I wanted to get home. I arrived home five minutes later. I walked into the room and got the diary out.

_Now he's getting married I guess my dreams of being with him are only dreams. I'll never get the chance to tell him how I feel. Even though he's hurt me again I still love him. I'll always love him._

Someone outside knocked on the door. I went to answer it. When I opened the door I saw it was Mac.

'Mac. What do you want' I asked him.

'Stel we need to talk'

'We've talked enough don't you think' I said stepping to the side to let him pass

'No we haven't. Why did you leave'

'Mac I wanted to clear my head'

'So you came home.' He was waking up the hallway. He stopped outside my room and looked in. He walked in and it wasn't till I saw him come out with my diary that I realized I left it open.

'Stel what's in this?' he asked

'Read it and find out' I said softly

He turned to the first page and I saw his face go from confused to shock to hurt in the space of ten seconds.

'Stella is this how you really feel' he asked

'I…Well…'


	3. Chapter 3

**Stella's Diary**

**Chapter 3**

'Well' He said

'Yes it is Mac' I said sighing

'So you really think that I'm a _fucking cold-hearted bastard_ Stel'

'Yeah' I replied quietly

Instead of carrying on reading he threw the book down and turned to me saying 'Well if that's how you really feel then we have nothing more to talk about.' He walked to the door and opened it.

'Mac wait'

'Hurry up Stella I've got my fiancé waiting for me'

'I love you Mac. Yeah sometimes I think you're _cold-hearted bastard _but I still love. I always will Mac. And if you had read on you would have none that wouldn't of you.'

He froze at the door. He shut it and turned to me saying 'How long.'

'How long what?' I asked confused

'How long have you felt this way?'

'Since I first started working with you'

'Why. Why didn't you tell me'

'Because I didn't want to in case you didn't feel the same way' I said softly

'Stel…' he started

'Forget about it Mac. I'll see you tomorrow' I said walking towards the door and opening it. He walked up to me and shut the door. I looked at him confused 'Mac what are you doing' it wasn't long before I found out. He spun me around and kissed me. It soon grew deeper and passionate. ' Mac' I said pulling away 'we can't do this'

'I know we can't but it feels right Stel'

I looked at him _does this mean he loves me_ I thought

'I love you Stel. I always have done. The reason why I started dating her was because I was scared that you didn't love me'

I smiled 'What are going to do?'

'I'll tell her it's over but I still want to be a part of my kids life you know'

'Yeah I know'

He called her why I was in the kitchen. He came into the kitchen after he had finished 'What did she say?' I asked

'She's fine with it. She said after the baby's born she's giving up all parental rights so…'

'…So you'll get full custody of you're son or daughter'

'Yeah'

He pulled me close and kissed me 'I love you' he mumbled against my lips

'I love you too' I mumbled back


End file.
